She kissed your boo boos, packed your lunches, took you shopping for your first day of school outfit… All the typical mommy ish things we think about when we say the word mommy.
Moms are great, moms take care of you, feed you, take you places, and cheer for you on the sidelines, but the emotional connection is far greater than making lunch and baking cookies. A mother is one of, quite possibly, the most influential person in a child’s life.
My daughter is only four but she came home from school a few weeks ago so upset that a boy did not like her. She was crestfallen, head slumped over, nothing like the usual Gia that I pick up from school, big smile, giddy with excitement and eager to show me her work. I realized, then and there, that she is going to need me for a very long time, for support, a listening ear and an open heart, or for right now, simply a lap to snuggle up in and hide from the world for a bit.
I talked to her about this boy and a few reasons why he wasn’t interested (Good Lord , she’s four!) and it’s amazing how you are just thrown into this and suddenly the things you say are probably going to impact her for a long time, possibly a lifetime? Not sure about this, none of us can be sure …but definitely, for a large part of her life.
I hope to God that the words from my mouth mean something to her, resonate with her, and if need be, change her outlook on sad or frustrating situations, or cause her to appreciate her beautiful self.
Lately, she has been looking at herself in the mirror, a lot, and I watch her smiling, twirling, laughing, and making funny faces…and a torrent of emotions hits me like a crashing wave…
Will she always be so happy with herself? Maybe, maybe not. Will she always be completely carefree and silly? Most likely, there will be a sprinkling of sad days and disappointments. Will she look at herself and wish she could change something about herself? Perhaps, because sadly, we live in an appearance obsessed society.
It’s my job to make her feel beautiful, worthy, and valued as a girl, teenager, and strong woman… But it begins now…every day, by paying attention, creating meaningful moments, and encouraging her to love herself, express herself, to not give up, and mostly to be a role model.
I am indeed a “work in progress” but I am striving to be the woman that I want her to look up to – strong, fearless, kind, calm, assertive, self sufficient, secure, confident, and above all, happy. Looks like I have my work cut out for me!
With that being said, I would like to share some of my friends’ comments and thoughts about their mothers.
“It means the world to me that I have a mom that I can call a friend. Any problems that come my way or funny stories that happened with me, the kids, etc… I can go to her and tell her knowing she’ll gladly listen & offer advice if that’s what I need. A time she was really there for me was after losing Kylee. After sitting home with Jim for a week only leaving the house to get cookies & sandwiches from our favorite bakery, Jim had to get back to work & a routine. I was not ready for some time to return to work. I had visits from family & friends but that was not everyday but it was mom who was there to keep me busy & my mind off of not having Kylee. She is my favorite shopping partner & we did alot of shopping…lol. She would take the 45 min drive out to me (or I would go by her occasionally for change of scenery). She took the time out of her daily routines to be with me. We have had terrific family vacations together with so many laughs & those memories & stories will stick with me forever.”
“My mom is wonderful because she’s caring, loving, always there when I need her, and will do anything for anyone. She is just the best mom!!!”
“I decided to separate from hubby #1 during the fall, which is my favorite time of year. Leaves were falling and so was my world. I was so crushed. I remember telling my mom that the hardest part of the whole thing was that I was afraid the experience was going to ruin my favorite time of year and that I would never welcome the fall season the same way again. The following year, when I bought a new townhouse and was starting to get back on my feet after the whole ordeal my mom sent me a huge care package of all things fall: new candles, new front door wreath, funky fall decorations, new scarves, etc. I remember the card said something like, “Things change, but you remain the same.” Now I love the fall season even more because instead of reminding me of that dark period of my life, it reminds of everything I have, including the love of my mom. Moral of the story: Moms know exactly what you need and when you need it.”
“One thought I had today was that I usually feel lonely and don’t have any friends to hang out with (like to grab a cup of coffee or shop with), but my mom has always been there for me. A couple of weeks ago, she gave a me a kitchen towel that says, “A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.” I hope Izzy feels the same about me when she’s older.”
“Happy Mother’s Day to my mom. No matter what or how far – you are always there. There is not a day I don’t wish we lived closer.
Thank you for all you do for me and our family – you are an amazing mom, grandma and friend xoxo”
“My Mom is quite simply, the woman I aspire to be. She is kind, generous, thoughtful, funny, and always picks up the phone when I call, or calls right back, watches my children when I need help, never complains, and I love this woman to the moon and back.”
“To be at my childhood home, on my Mom’s couch, is pure heaven. To feel her comforting hugs, see her gentle, kind eyes, and feel relaxed, free, like she can take the weight off my shoulders ….that is what I think of when I think of Mom.”
AND, the last and final thoughts are for my Mom…
You read all my posts.
You always pick up the phone.
You listen to me to infinity and beyond.
You have taught me not to settle, to go after what I want, to make decisions that are good for me.
You picked me off the floor, at a time when I didn’t care if I ever saw the sun again.
You buy me jewelry.
You buy me an awesome bag every year on my birthday:)
You help with the kids when your in Jersey…when Dad hasn’t booked you on a cruise, a second cruise, another cruise, an African Safari, Atlantic City Blackjack tournament, or stashed you away in sunny Florida for months at a time…
You inspire me to be strong, assertive, and to not give a damn what other people think.
You encourage me to embrace myself, look my best, to buy nice things to wear, and to feel good about me.
You are beautiful, giving, and worthy of all you have and more.