Sick …thoughts about green chocolate covered Oreos


“Wow , that’s a lot of chocolate covered Oreos to eat,” G’s teacher wrote back when I wrote that G wasn’t coming to school today because she was sick (for those readers who were looking forward to a real ‘sick story’ sorry- go search a gross web site!) and would be stuck in the house with dozens of sweet, chocolaty treats in our house. Oh no, I hadn’t even thought about that yet! I was too distracted by the sheer disappointment that G wasn’t going to be able to wear her cute, new, green St. Patty’s day shirt that I suffered to get…and by suffer I mean carting around two kids shouting, “I want a treat, I want a treat,” with the Frozen soundtrack blaring from the IPhone, while they simultaneously tried to jump out of the cart.

I don’t know about you but I always have in the back of my head what’s available for munching and secretly getting into…take right now, for example, I am well aware that half of a chocolate Reese’s peanut butter cup pie is wrapped up five times tight, in Tupperware, beckoning me from the depths of the freezer, on the left hand side to take him out.  He because members of the opposite sex sometimes just cause you problems, they can be alluring and then you’re stuck with them like the empty calories you just consumed.

All day long I was thinking about the teacher’s comment.  Did she think I was going to eat all of these cookies? Is Ms. A picturing me lounging on the couch and popping cookies into my mouth?

I COULD NOT FIND AN IMAGE OF A WOMAN!!! What does that tell you?

Such a classic stereo type, isn’t it? The stay at home mom popping the bon bons, watching her soaps, while the kids…hmm, I never thought about what the kids were doing? How does this stereotype exist? I don’t know any moms, myself included who ever get the chance to put their feet up… the most relaxing time I have had in the past four years was when I was lying in a hospital bed, post epidural (yea- tried natural with the first and will never do that again!) and waiting for contractions to begin….it was awesome, I read magazines, my parents were watching my firstborn, and I had no guilt that I should be cleaning something, running an errand, researching something, or checking on a child…the nurses were checking on me every 15 minutes or so, I got table service (ice chips a la mode), and there was even a TV for my husband!

That reminds me, a couple of weeks ago, I burst on the scene of preschool pick up bragging about the best hour I just had- “Ladies, Ari feel asleep in the car and I got a coffee and I just sat there.”

A friend laughs and says to me, “Pretty sad that this is the extent of our excitement.”

Yup- pure excitement, like getting your kids to eat a vegetable.  I actually felt like getting a medal the other night when they both ate a real meal, and not just the sweet potato fries.

So, back to the thought of me kickin back, reading the latest InTouch, and poppin those sweet delights in my mouth, sounds like a dream…

I wonder if any moms are out there are spending their days doing this? If I see a giddy looking mom on the checkout line at Target or Walmart, with a cart full of movies, chocolate covered almonds and caramel popcorn, and a big ole bottle of Benadryl, I know what she’s up to…

Hmmm, what shall I eat first?

Not a bad idea. (Kidding, people, I would never drug my children – oh wait, didn’t I write in a previous post called Letting Go, that I was letting go of rules!