I am shoving gummy bears down my throat and I’m all tucked in bed, reading a novel, but having a hard time concentrating….thoughts are racing through my head.. “Why am I eating gummy bears?” “Why do I find this book so boring?” “I hate homeschooling…” “ Are they going to close schools for another month, the rest of the year?”

I hate all this uncertainty! I am not good at things being out of my control. I can usually manage my emotions by exercising, baking, making crafts, and talking to friends, but today I can’t relax, I can’t breathe, I can’t seem to find anything to hold my interest, and not much is calming me down. There are those lists out there. You know- ten ways to calm down or five things to do now to destress… we have all seen them.. a quick google search will bring all the ideas at the touch of your fingertips, ready to read, digest and try, but here’s the thing… what if we don’t search for a way to calm down , we don’t try to destress. What if we just writhe around on the floor like a snake on fire and just be uncomfortable…

Sometimes it’s more exhausting to try and be a different emotion than the one you’re feeling right now.

It’s like I hate getting “fixed” by other people so why should I fix myself right now?