Ten Cleaning Shortcuts

As you all know from my previous potty training blog Potty training jail
this house has been all a flurry with running to toilets, tearing through piles of underwear, thousands of sprays of 409 multipurpose cleaner, the use of bleach, and general disarray…

Not to mention the complete lack of activities which has been stifling as well as somewhat eye opening…and to be honest, a little heavier on the latter….more time to play, connect, and definitely ponder….about important and meaningful topics like how to connect more with my children as well as other nonsensical topics such as my famous cleaning shortcuts…the current situation at hand has inspired me to share my treasured tips.

“Oh Jill, you cleaned today, ” my husband has said from time to time after coming into the house after a long day at work ( my hard working husband- works his but off so I can be home and write this silly blog… )

Yes, the pungent smell of bleach and pine sol can hit one’s nose with a vengeance…smelling of sterile ness, spic and span-ness, and disinfection, can trick even the most obsessive compulsive clean freaks out there.

But don’t be fooled…you just never know when someone has simply used a cleaning short cut… the following are mine.

# 1 Before guests or family members arrive at your house, throw a little pine sol in the toilet and let it linger. Reminiscent of schools and hospitals, this smell is sure to convince the incoming that they are entering a cleanly house. Even Gia knows not to flush when she sees a foreign color in the bowl…”Mom, is it safe to flush the toilet or are we cleaning today?”

# 2 Hide a bucket filled with a mixture of water or bleach underneath a cabinet somewhere…the bleach scent will fill the air and send a convincing message…SANITIZED HOUSE..

#3 No need to stress about finding pairs of socks…let the kids do it and make a game of it.

This is a game we play once in a while when the sock situation gets out of hand… Go from drawer to drawer, collect all of the lonely socks, as well as the unpaired from the dryer…put in a big pile, and have a competition- child with the most pairs made gets a prize.

Get crackin girls!

# 3 On the subject of socks, do not, in any circumstance, buy white socks! Think about it.

# 5 Laundry lies…Sometimes at night, I empty out all of the hampers and put the laundry elsewhere…when my husband wakes up in the morning complaining about not being able to find a shirt or socks or whatever, I say, “Hmmm, that’s so odd! I did all of the laundry -see the hamper is empty!”

#6 Use a multi purpose cleaner to spot clean the tile… This tip is not only quick and effective and gives the illusion of a clean floor but is an arm workout as well…remember the Karate Kid…”wax on -wax off…”

#7 A lonely Barbie plastic high heel, a random plastic cookie that has dust bunnies playing on it, a menacing crayon( in this house, a crayon outside of the pack is taken as a reason to autograph the walls), shapes, small toys…JUST THROW OUT! Who has the time to return these items to their sets, boxes, or bodies…and when it’s discovered Barbie is missing her shoes, throw her out too…

# 8 Cleaning the fridge /freezer…I don’t have the time to take all of the frozen food/refrigerated food out before I clean so I just try and finish it all…”Mom, what’s for dinner?” Um, waffle, dipped in yogurt/corn sauce, or one chicken nugget, one fish stick, three sweet potato fries, a piece of cheese, half of a bagel…mmm sounds delish …I love to concoct as well but that would have to be for an entire different post. I was looking for a picture of odd food concoctions and I came across this! Wow…

This is a pork belly hamburger with cheese and bacon, nested in between two deep fried twinkles….Could you imagine eating that concoction?

#9 Nothing unique here, just frantic shoving of toys into bins before company comes…this I have to say I learned from my husband…I remember when we were first married and I was going out and we were having people over that night…I recall coming home and stepping foot into an orderly apartment and there my husband was just relaxing on the couch ( that part has not changed at all!) I was so impressed until later on, I would open a drawer or closet and it was just filled with stuff all shoved in. I was so annoyed and… now, what’s the saying? If you can’t beat em…join em…


#10 The Final shortcut is just give them a drink or two or three…Explanation is self explanatory. Happy Fourth of July everyone! It’s pouring rain by me which is why I am not out in my sparklers bikini and indoors writing this absurd post!


Virtual Cheers! It’s party time!

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