Maybe I’m a boring blogger





Last night I cried. I sat on the couch, it was two A.M. I thought about my girls, mostly Gia, and how I neglected her a lot this week.  She wanted to play with me. I wanted to do blog stuff. I crawled into bed with her last night, cuddled up to a sleeping beauty, and whispered how much I loved her and promised to be more mommy.

Whenever I think about being a mom and how it felt to be a daughter, I always think about this one incident.  It was the saddest night- The man I thought was going to marry me, broke my heart, and the only thing I remember about that night was my Mom spoon feeding me oatmeal on the couch as I struggled to breathe.

That was years ago and obviously things have changed.  I have two girls, married an amazingly fun and kind man, who is an awesome father.  Things are good – I stay home. I’m lucky to be able to do this but sometimes I feel unfulfilled.  I started this blog in January for fun, to document some of the craziness, without any intentions of trying to make money, trying to be funny, or trying to do anything…I like to write and I thought it would be fun, and a way to keep me focused on the little adventures of everyday, instead of worrying what I’m doing wrong and what parent information don’t I know about.

Kind of like shopping in your neighborhood mom and pop shop of mommystuff rather than stepping foot into the enormous Mega Mom store a few towns away where moms have all the latest gadgets, know all the no no’s in infant eating, and have their kids enrolled in the latest trending must do activity like Yoga Brain Balance or something like that.  I just find it easier to bake my cookies and bang on pots!

If you have been reading my former posts, you can see I’m a bit all over the place, ideas, projects, plans, stopping them, changing them…running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Clearly, the blog hasn’t been my ticket out of the therapist’s chair.

Curiosity killed the cat

I started out with a few posts and shared them with my friends and it was nice and then a bout of insomnia hit and I started googling Mom blogs and funny Mom blogs, and there were thousands of them, 98, 900, 000 results on google to be exact- ones that had awards on them, featured on well-known sites, blogs with thousands of followers, blogs that were making a penny or two.

I started reading these blogs, some were unbelievable with their crafts and creations, some were useful, and some were funny.  A large part of the so called “hilarious blogs,” were shocking …“fucking disgusting, smelly farts, vagina, kids are A-holes, I want to punch you in the face, but cracks….” You get the gist.

I get it, this sort of train wreck writing sells, and people flock to these sites to see the crazy.  I have been playing around with the description of my blog and threw in the word crack…last night I changed that.  I am not one of those balls out there kind of blogs – Fuck –is a word only used in extreme situations- SORRY DAD! And I’m not going to call my children little A-holes, like a popular blogger out there does. (I may think it…haven’t we all? But I won’t write it).

So I am going to stop snooping around and trying to figure out what sells (as much as I want to post some sexy shots of me in a bikini – hahahaha – Just kidding – Never. People would be sending me diet and fitness books after that for sure!

I’m no Martha Stewart (the extent of my creativity is chocolate covered oreos with googly eyes) and I’m not Mother Theresa with a potty mouth, so from now on, it’s just me sipping my wine, chugging my coffee, munching on Cheez its, hanging with the girls, and making creations like this!

dog sandwich


And I might tell you that Gia said that my naked boobs “looked like hanging down low penises.”



Going on a bear hunt cake

We’re not afaid of these bears!

Playdate tomorrow.  What should I make? No chocolate chips in the house since last week I naively deemed them as unfit for our family…not chocolate chips per se, but sweets in general, calling Erin (my weekly playdate friend), last Friday, and telling her that last week’s cookies were the VERY LAST ONES EVER. And here we are an entire week later and boy has my tune changed.  I think God must flip a coin at night and heads, Jill is completely neurotic, frantically stopping off at all of her usual haunts, 7-11, CVS, gas station convenience stores (last Thursday, I was in one of these such stores purchasing some “last sweets ever.” You know what I bought – something very random, for me that is – a whoopee pie- do you even know what that is?

I had one once in my life and I actually stole it from a wedding reception- not a wedding I was invited to, just one that was taking place at the restaurant/banquet hall I was having dinner at.  We were leaving our dining area and I was very tipsy, and spotted this giant stack of them, they beckoned me to come and get one… or two…They were individually packaged with the couple’s name and date of ceremony and some stupid loved dovey quote- (I am clearly not a romantic, can you tell?)

The usual culprits are an everything bagel with olive cream cheese ( that combination is the absolute best thing on earth- the only problem is that I have a wheat intolerance and a bagel is like flour x 100 and my stomach looks like I am five months pregnant after I eat one….but they are just so so good) or my favorite ice cream sunday- cookie dough icecream, marshmallow sauce, and peanut butter cups…pure peanuty, heavenly pleasure, need I say more? Not to mention blondies, Cheez its, cookies with frosting, and anything with ranch dressing- oh calgon- take me away to a smorgasbord of all my favorite foods…and make it all calorie free.

Needless to say, I marched into the convenience store with Arianna who decided to take every lollypop off the stand, you know those big lollypops, with names like banana cream pie, that are displayed at almost every checkout counter, and looked and looked for my “last sweet ever” and decided on a Whoopie Pie…to be honest, it was the biggest baked item on the rack- I figured Ari and I could share it… I only bought one thing because I was going home to bake chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies for a playdate- you know, the last playdate ever with sweets….( I know what you’re thinking, this lady is completely screwed up!)

Like I said, I think that God flipped the coin to heads that day and it was out of her mind Jill.  On the days that I gratefully get a tails, I am much calmer and rational. I stay out of money sucking, junk food serving stores, and … I’m not really sure what I do, let’s see what G has to say, “G, what does mommy do when she is calm, not shopping, or being crazy?”

“You read,” says Gia.

Interesting, because when do I really have time to read? If I do get the rare moment to put my feet up and fire up the IPad, it’s like I am a magnetic force pulling the girls towards me, with their eyes wide like zombies chanting, “Mom, let me see; Mom, let me play; Mom, play music; and the latest and far most horrifying is Mom, let me have the IPad

This last request is that G wants to record me.  She has been sneaking around, recording videos of me, without me knowing….can we say embarrassing? I didn’t even know that she knew how to do this and I dropped her off at my brother’s for an hour while I took A to gymnastics and she played these videos of me, awful shots of me with hair up, roots showing, no makeup, side profile (which I hate- my chin is way shorter than my nose and it’s just not pretty!) Not to mention that I was looking completely perplexed and frazzled in these videos.  But then again, that’s the norm around here.

Today, however, I am no longer a culprit of the coin toss, I feel as if I have made major strides in the last week, first I wrote

Let it Go and the other day I wrote a post about not making life so hard and having more fun and that’s what we are trying to do moving forward.

Damn, I get off subject so easily.  Today I decided to do a Going on a Bear Hunt theme.  For some reason, visions of teddy grahms were dancing in my head so voilà- we got out the Ipad, fired up the song and reenacted the words on a scene we made at the table.  I’m sure you have all heard of “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” before.  There are many versions of this song out there and this is the one we like.  The singers’ voices crack us up!

Song number 46

We acted out the motions of Going on the Bear Hunt with this scene we created.

photo 2
The extent of my artistic ability

That would be grass that G’s fingers are pretending to walk through.

pic 1
What’s hiding underneath the cave?
gia scared
Ahhhhh, it’s a bear!

Then I made a cake, from scratch, and you know what – I’m too tired to post the recipe- I made the icing too, without powdered sugar – you want to make it too- find it yourself, but I’ll show you the cake again!



cookie baked

Today we made Snickerdoodles.

Snicker ( no pun intended) and snort all you want about me…I’m baking again – don’t bash me folks- didn’t you read my previous post about Letting Go- No more no’s in my life!  Nothing is off limits at this point, the sky is the limit, ready to try anything…

Ok you sickos, get your minds out of the pornos – I am not doing that or that  –  And to hubs, don’t get any crazy ideas.

I never made snickerdoodles before but Gia loves them so I figured I would try them. There was a time when I had never even heard of a snickerdoodle before- sounded like something with chocolate and nuts, until this annoying roommate I had years ago in Hoboken made them.  Boy was she irritating- she would talk nonstop during funny sitcoms and eat her cereal really loud like crunching and munching and slurping away. It was enough to make you never want to pour a bowl of frosted flakes again- oh wait -did I say frosted flakes? I don’t know what made me say that- I spent my twenties choking down Fiber One and Kashi Good Friends in attempts to get things moving down below.


Did you ever see these cereal boxes for Good Friends, pretty hysterical with those smilng faces- Why is this cereal called Good Friends? Is it because you’re going to be a good friend once you get the poop out? Or perhaps the smelly presents you leave in the toilet are your good friends?  A former male boss of mine who was also gay, once came back from a trip to the little boys room ( I hate that expression but if the shoe fits…) and said that he “took a shit and it felt great and that releasing your bowels felt just as good as an orgasm.” I think I must have turned as red as a tomato and was rendered speechless…

These days I don’t bother with the fiber- these kids have me running on fumes and I really don’t have time to visit the loo so that’s that.

Back to the snickerdoodles, yikes all that potty talk, and now back to scrumptious sweets baked with delicate hands. This seems like the perfect time to show you that my muffin did indeed wash her hands today…

You can lick off these hands, they’re so clean!

When we were baking last week, Big D (remember him, my contractor) happened to sneak up on us while G was licking her fingers and going to town on the pink frosting we made…aww, snap – caught in the act!

Snickerdoodles are like the only thing that G wants in Target.  Well, that and the Pizza Hut pizza they serve there- this is my mistake or wait- I think I’ll blame my Mom for this one- yup, grandma bought her this once in Target and you know what they say about addictions, it just takes one time.  The thing is G doesn’t actually eat pizza, she takes all the cheese off and just eats the bread so the Pizza Hut personal pizza is a Godsend for little miss cheese-less.  The small brown box contains a mushy, doughy, greasy, sink your teeth into some old school deliciousness and she’s in heaven.

Not going to be stealing the secrets of Pizza Hut and recreating pizza in my kitchen so I decided to make cookies.  I always see foodie blogs where people show all the steps they took to make their delights so I figured I would be all professional and do the same.

Here’s the recipe I found on

makes 16-20 cookies

1/2 cup butter, at room temperature

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 tablespoons milk

1/4 cup sugar + 1 tablespoon cinnamon for dipping

Preheat oven to 375.

Cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer until smooth. Add egg and vanilla, mixing well until combine, about 2 minutes. Stir in flour, baking powder, salt, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix until dough comes together. Add in milk. If dough is still crumbly, add milk 1 tablespoon at a time until it comes together. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

In a bowl combine remaining sugar and cinnamon. Remove dough from fridge and roll into big 1 1/2 inch balls. Dip in cinnamon sugar mixture and place on baking sheet. Lightly pressdown on dough to flatten it. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes.

dough dough
Delicious dough that almost didn’t make it.

The little one saw this, dragged her chair over, climbed up, and turned the bowl over so she could use as a drum- her music class is really inspiring her to make music in all the wrong places…

Thank goodness she washed her hands!
ready to heat up
cookie baked
The entire house smelled of sugar and cinnamon!

Poor Daddy never gets any treats by the time he comes home.  We have either eaten them, given them away, or had children gobble them up during a playdate. We made a plate just for him.

That’s you daddy