The real truth and does anyone know how to stop being a people pleaser?

On May 6, 2014May 6, 2014 By JillIn Mommy Confessions, Mommy Musings, Uncategorized, What's Going On?4 Comments

I would like to tell you the real truth about why I stopped the thirty day happy challenge. Yesterday, I wrote that it was because I already knew that I was joyful. This is still true and I stand by this. Who wouldn’t feel their heart soar with these two…

This was today in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, trying on the hats! We have fun wherever we go!

I wish that being not being happy and positive was MY ACTUAL PROBLEM. It’s pretty damn easy to take pics of the girls, in various settings, and write captions like “yay” and “cute” because they are. Not to mention that it’s so Facebookish! Or rather fakebook, I mean, let’s be honest, we all pick out our best “kodak moments” (wink wink to Mags for this one) and post them up.

case and point – my current profile picture- Don’t we look so happy and such a cute family!

So, I am happy but something is weighing on me like the big feet of an elephant! I have people in my head, constantly, I see their faces and can almost feel their thoughts! I suppose I am the chosen one…right? The girl who is responsible for everyone…

OR so I thought! I have read this and heard this so many times – the fact that most people are not thinking about you.

However, I still have been living, geesh, for as long as I can remember like this…
It sort of sucks!

I wake up, and usually start panicking about my to do list…I always seem to have so much to do… And their is a constant whirl of thoughts going through my brain… Lately it has been about this damn blog, which IS THE MAIN REASON I want to quit it… I just don’t know what to write about, who I should be?

Should I be happy and cheery and make my family happy? I know they feel better when I am cheery, lighthearted, and fun… Should I be tired, drinking, and spent – that is sure to make the sad moms feel better about themselves … Should I be crafty, baking, adventurous? That’s sure to get more web traffic!

And then there’s the baking/ gift giving / social event problem that I have…
Always feel the need to bake, to create perfect gifts, like for teachers, friends, etc…, and worry at social events and parties – am I eating enough of their food? drinking enough? (Well maybe not that one!) Did I bring the right gift… It’s downright exhausting!

You see my predicament! Might as well just eat worms….but I can’t because they’re gross. And I don’t think I’m going to start a new 30 day challenge of how to stop people pleasing and start people annoying, although my husband would love that!

He is the opposite of me and is always encouraging me to disappoint people, say no, and not to give a flying fuck…he’s not a bad guy…I see you all getting this image of a monster… Sending me referrals for a divorce lawyer!

He’s just trying to get me to see things differently… So that’s that – just felt like telling the truth… I have a few people to talk to tomorrow about a few situations…. Going to get to bottom of what people really think about baking, gifts, and perfection! Let’s see what information we come up with…

Feel free to comment now folks! Those of you who read this on Facebook, put in your email and comment… It could help other people pleaser problem people who are reading this!

Day Six of thirty day challenge …sharing positive thoughts

On May 4, 2014 By JillIn I need a glass of wine, Mommy Musings, Thirty day challenge - Make it, Do it, Love it, What's Going On?1 Comment

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great week!

Thinking I am going to start lumping some days together! This is getting exhausting….sort of defeats the purpose of feeling positive and happy… This whole “gotta post, gotta write, ” I never said I was going to write everyday and here I am- doing it:) ugh!!! Jilly- take a break, read something for fun! Relax.

Those were words from my fairy godmother…but seriously, the point of this challenge was to find ways to reduce anxiety and find more joy.
So far, I am feeling happy and positive, reflecting on the day, and seeing all that we do, the strength I have as a mom- doing this all by myself, with NO HELP!!! I know I have the emotional support from my husband and family but seriously, I do this all day, alone, and here’s to the other mommas out there who are strong, energetic, interesting, and relentless in making their darlings happy…and are fearless mommies!

I know, off on a tangent there, but a few faces come to mind and this momma thing is not easy. It very well could be easy, if you simply do the bare minimum, but I have met the most amazing women in the past year who just inspire me to be a better Mom and to just keep saying “yes” to new experiences. These women are positive influences in my life and they don’t even know it!

Oh gee, I did not mean to get so off topic there but the more I think about my daily experiences, I think about all of the moms I see, who are… Powerhouses of energy in doing things for their children, and that in itself is joy.

OK, back to reality and Jill – so the thing is I am feeling happy and joyful – yay!!! But, still anxious…. Boo:(

This is me….

So…. This up and coming week need to figure out some anxiety relief….
This is my biggest struggle! People pleasing, worrier, perfectionist – damn! All the fun stuff – let ‘s see what we can come up with!!!

BACK TO TODAY…

Felt so great after a morning walk! I used to be a runner… Like a five miler almost every day. I haven’t run in soooo long, I can’t believe I’m the same person sometimes… Just the fact that I got up and forced myself to take a walk is amazing, and it felt awesome!

Then I called Tom and told him to meet me at the park with the kids and he brought me coffee- yay!

We went to such a fun birthday party!!! In fact, had so much fun, I forgot to take a picture, well, it was either that or the wine!!!
Snapped a quick shot of Arianna on the way home, covered in goodies- had to do this party solo since Tom had to go away…. Not used to being at party alone, without my partner… I have to be on full alert and I am definitely the driver…boo:( BUT, I am home now and making up for it! Thank you T for replenishing the supplies!!!!

Ahhhh….

Oh I forgot here’s Ari in the car!

She is covered in chocolate – Tiffany- did we really need your entire container of m&ms ?!! And loving the popcorn favors!

Isn’t that hysterical!!!!

That’s it for the night!

Day five- Make it, Do it, Love it

On May 3, 2014May 3, 2014 By JillIn Mommy Musings, Thirty day challenge - Make it, Do it, Love it, What's Going On?Leave a comment

Seems like a whirlwind of a day! Make up dance class and last class for Gia’s friend, Kailey, who is currently on the road to their new life in Indiana! Really going to miss them!

For a good bye party, one mom, Dana made these luscious Ladybug cupcakes! So incredible!

The picture doesn’t do these cute cupcakes justice! It was really dark and not a great picture.

Awesome news!

SHE IS GOING TO BE JOINING ME ON THE GIRLY REPORTS SOON! I am beyond excited as she is amazingly talented and will inspire all of us to get in touch with our creative side…

Then, Kailey’s mom took Gia to lunch and a few other stops while Arianna and I made four stops in an hour! I felt like a momma on five shots of espresso, trying to pack as much as possible into the little time I had with just one child! Delivered cookies to a friend, stopped into Michaels for some crafting supplies, Harmon’s, and got gas (ok so that doesn’t really count as a store!)

Gia was dropped off and then we drove back to Gia’s old school to meet up with her best friend Giana and sign her up for a few weeks of camp!

We saw her old teachers! So funny because they saw Arianna and thought it was Gia! So great seeing one of my favorite friends, Jessica, and just enjoying the beautiful weather at the playground !

Two of the girls enjoying snacks… The others were swinging and sliding

And I almost bailed on her…

Anxiety release

My house is a total mess, so much laundry to do…It. Never.ends! Neither does the clutter! I truly need a house cleaner!

And…I have a zillion things to organize and get… It seems that way these days! Sure is hard not having ANY help!

I know I don’t technically work, but I always feel stressed!

So, the point is, I was hemming and hawing about meeting up and then I just got in the car. Fast forward to later in the day – so worth it! Nothing is that important that you can’t take your kids to the playground and meet up with a friend for an hour or two…Moms need mom friends!!!! It is so important! Love my friends and that is my happy thought of the night! Have an awesome weekend everyone!