Yikes! I’m a Yeller

On May 10, 2018May 18, 2018 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I told myself I wasn’t going to yell…just for today. That’s all I had planned. Stay calm.
Count to ten, take a deep breath, do a quick downward dog… but it didn’t happen for me.

I just get so annoyed… way too easily these days. Maybe it’s the amount of activities we have, the plans I make, the unrealistic expectations I have with my children, with me, with the goals of the day.

I have simple desires. Very simple. Just do what I say! When I say! It’s really not too much to ask… I’m not asking these girls to mop the floor or even clean their rooms! My requests are fairly simple like “Brush your hair.”

It’s hard to control three kids, each with different personalities, with their own set of interests and agenda.
Gia wants to be the boss.

Arianna wants to be silly.

Lexi just wants what she wants at that split second and screams and cries.

So… when things aren’t going according to plan, I get frustrated and raise my voice.

And then come the consequences…I hate the way I feel… guilty, out of control, and chaotic.
It just doesn’t feel like a happy, organized day.
I feel stressed, defeated, and out of control.

It’s like a tug of war between the girls and me… with me falling down … a lot!

The thing is, I don’t want to be a yeller.

I don’t want the girls to have memories of mom being angry all of the time…

I need to be the pillar of strength and comfort and compassion. I’m pretty sure children of angry parents have way more anxiety and insecurities.

I am on a mission to deflate the balloon of frustration… I am saying goodbye to the stress!

The girls and I made our first video on our revised YouTube channel. They are no longer the Baking Brats because they didn’t want to just do baking. Now they are The Girly Reports…and I will be changing my blog name soon so I can be separate from them…I don’t want any of their little friends stumbling upon this blog while searching for The Girly Reports!

Anyhoo, the video (link below) is a silly skit about stress reduction tips… it’s super ridiculous and goofy. After watching it, I cringed at my plain Jane face, my voice, and my general annoying chatter… but we uploaded it anyway- making public the annoying mom. My husband graciously called it “interesting…”

I was thinking about people viewing it and how embarrassing it was going to be… I felt a little uncomfortable at first…and then I thought, you know what…I don’t care and I think this is a key first step in deflating the stress.

Uploading the D grade video, thinking about viewers shaking their heads, maybe thinking negative thoughts… and then sitting with those feelings and being ok with it, made me kind of empowered… less focused on what others think. And as a trickle down effect, less stressed…

Hopefully, as I discover different ways to feel less on edge, my kids will enjoy a calmer, cool as a cucumber momma!

Key #1 Be messy and embrace imperfection.

Let your kids be imperfect as well…and be ok with it. Don’t get this confused with letting your kids be unkempt and dirty …I’m not into the rats nest hair style or long fingernails with dirt underneath… man those nails grow fast!
Just less focus on perfection.
I actually have been wearing the same pair of leggings for a week straight! And it feels …well, like exactly what I said – messy/imperfect! And I haven’t had my nails done either in weeks…Woo hoo!
I am nailing this down!

Look out for my next post on key number two for deflating the stress balloon.

CHECK OUT THEIR VIDEO and please subscribe! We will have more annoying videos coming soon! We need 100 subscribers to get a URL address so we can have a link to share. Would love it if you could help.
THE GIRLY REPORTS VIDEO ONE

GUEST BLOGGER NORMA ” Can you truly get away for a vacation and actually relax?”

On September 19, 2014 By JillIn Guest bloggers, Mommy MusingsLeave a comment

This post is written by Norma – check out her bio under Guest bloggers

If you’re not taking the kids then I think the answer is no.

My aunt’s 50th birthday celebration was in Florida and I live in Connecticut. I love this aunt very much and she happens to be the only aunt/uncle that will fly or drive for any family event so this trip was a must.

I decided to combine the birthday celebration with a week long vacation. I haven’t taken a vacation in a while and now I know why!

There is just so much to do, especially when you are divorced.

Step 1- Make sure my ex husband can accommodate this particular week on his ever changing retail schedule.

Step 2- Contend with my daughters attitude because she had to lug her curling iron and a weeks worth of clothes to her dad’s place. My daughter can be challenging to say the least…

Step 3- Stress about my daughter missing her first SAT prep class because my ex may not be able to get her to the class. Try to arrange an alternative.

Step 4- Oh, schedule an emergency trip to the doctor almost hours before take off…because it seemed as if my daughter just got an allergic reaction to something! Had to squeeze that in and make a pharmacy run.

This last minute problem could have been avoided if I had handled it sooner. She has been telling me her head has been itchy for a couple weeks now. But something ALWAYS hurts so I don’t react as quickly anymore …Unfortunately, whatever she reacted to caused a really bad case of eczema. I felt terrible.

Which brings me to

Step 5 Make sure ex has all of my children’s doctor’s numbers, insurance information, etc…

Step 6- Add an international text plan so I can contact the kids while away.

And at this point, I hadn’t even packed! I was so excited to get away but I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to relax. Like …ever – my body, probably, but my mind … Well, it will be thinking about all those worries…

If I was a self help book I’d throw myself over a cliff

On August 22, 2014August 22, 2014 By JillIn I need a glass of wine, Mommy Confessions, Mommy Musings5 Comments

“Moving towards balance…letting go, quitting sweets, quitting baking, getting over people pleasing, going to start taking care of myself, exercising, accepting my body, slowing down…blah, blah, blah….I truly feel like if I was a self help book, I would throw myself over the cliff.

None of this crappolla is important, really. Its utter crap, it’s not positive, funny, or real.

It’s like I am addicted to proclamations. It’s probably America – we’re obsessed with life change, makeovers, transformations, and success stories…pick up any magazine and it always features happy people touting their latest life change or decision to live a different life…I’m not completely knocking these inspirational type of stories…it’s just the more we hear about Jane quitting her job, starting the business of her dreams, losing 20 pounds, giving up gluten, and practicing yoga…you start to kind of think – well, maybe Jane has all the answers. She just looks so freakin happy…

This sort of thing has always sucked me in… Any kind of a change, seemed dramatic, exciting, challenging, and the answer to me being stuck in a rut.

The title says secrets to being happy from the Inside out…that sounds like you just have to read it, right?

When something doesn’t feel right, or I am feeling something I don’t want to be feeling, like frustration, unhappiness, disillusionment, sadness, or just boredom, I make some major proclamation. Instead of just owning the feeling. I think that’s what addicts do, right?

This one promises me to get a life that doesn’t suck! Woo hoo

For example, the baking… I baked a lot for the past two years. And then, just recently, I simply didn’t feel like it. I didn’t really have a clear explanation. I just had no desire to get out the bowls and the flour. When I think about this rationally, it was probably just me being tired and busy with the regular hectic life of a mom of little ones.

Not a lick of make up- dirty hair- and chipped nail polish – that’s pretty brave of me to show this gross pic that Gia snapped of me.

How about I just write/ speak about my true feelings… Like “Hey everyone, I am in a funk. I’m tired, I’m probably going to bring you some munchkins today, because the thought of baking is truly exhausting… But maybe I’ll feel like whipping up some blondies in a couple of weeks, or maybe not! ”

Or ” I am just not feeling my cutest, can we just hang out in our sweats and drink wine and eat pizza? ”

I officially quit proclamations.

Life is full of enough interesting things to read about/talk about right? Like the fact that Arianna pooped on the bathroom floor at the library yesterday and tried to pick it up.

Eeewwww! I don’t know how this happened. She has been using the potty regularly now for a while.

But that’s life. And I think we would all rather read about that, wouldn’t we?

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