1 We are saving money by not buying clothes.

My youngest daughter wants to wear jammies all day, every day. My oldest daughter likes to  wear the same dress every day and since no ones sees us, it’s a win win! At least that’s what I  tell myself when we stop at Dunkin Donuts, Panera, Target, and other places on the days we  can leave the house!  On that note, when I am able to get out of this prison, it does feel like a  free for all- it’s like if you’ve been on a strict diet for months, avoiding carbs, sweets, and fried  goodies, and then you have your first taste of french fries or a gooey, fudgy brownie with a  decadent chocolate frosting – and all hell breaks lose…you started with just one bite and then  suddenly the speed at which your forking food into your mouth starts rapidly increasing and  you are shoving cookies and chips into your mouth at this point and basically in heaven, all the  deprivation that you instilled on yourself melting away…

Oh, got a little carried away there with that description…it’s just I’ve been there done that with  the diet/cutting out thing; granted, my quitting of foods whether it be sweets, bagels, snacks, or  wine never lasts more than a week, or shamefully, less than a week, but still-when you feel  trapped in any way, be it your house, your food restrictions, your ability to use your car (I HOPE  THIS PROBLEM IS RESOLVED BY NEXT WEEK !) You can go hog wild when you’re free, but  maybe that’s just me.

2  My kids now have no toys

It’s a bad habit I have, purging, cleaning, and throwing away toys, clothes, arts and crafts, you name it- I throw it out when feeling trapped and a slight loss of control.

My friend was here visiting the other day and said to me, “Where are all of the toys? It looks like you just moved in!”

Pitfalls to this habit…

“Mom, why is my pumkin project in the garbage can?”

“Mom- Mom, look what I found in the garbage- another princess toy! This is so cool-

someone is starting to leave us presents in the garbage can!

–     “Playdate at Jill’s house …But Mommy- their house is no fun- they don’t have any

toys!”

–     You have to be really creative when home all day with your kids…Hmmm, let’s see, what do       we have to play with?- Dried macaroni and bowls- perfect!- “Come on girls- were pretending       we’re cooks!”

3 Way, way too much eating/drinking

The very first flake graces the ground and I have the flour, the mixing bowl out, the oven on and  I’m checking my wine supplies! (Which are becoming alarmingly low)

4 I have adopted a work uniform.

Much like people in jail wear their orange jumpsuit, nurses wear their scrubs, and police officers working for the good of the city, wear their big badges and buttons, I too, wear my black yoga pants, a tank, and a purple, velour, zip up hoody, sometimes I even wear the same thing to bed.

(I know what your thinking, that woman’s poor husband!) Actually, I have been called out by Gia- “Mom, your still in your pajamas!”)

I feel like being trapped in the house lends itself to a uniform- I am like the jailbird (enclosed in these walls), I am a nurse, tending to these girls all day, and definitely a cop, breaking up toddler fights, ensuring the little ones safety, and putting them in jail (time out) when need be.

5 I feel like I’m on a reality TV show

The premise: Stay at home mom never leaves the house, watch her turn tricks and see her roller coaster of emotions throughout the day… She goes from happy, loving mommy to crazed, frustrated, and on the verge of exploding, to looking like a zombie, or kind of blank feeling (i.e. staring out the window for long periods of time) to a compulsive cleaning freak to a laid back and loving the mess, to a snuggler and a cuddler to a GET AWAY FROM ME NOW to a “Let’s have sandwiches cut up in cute ways!” to a frustrated momma flinging food on the table to a Super Mom to Soggy Mom. ok, well, I don’t think I have ever been in the “super” category but soggy for sure, especially after I give the girls their third bath for the day- Hey, it’s an activity and I haven’t thrown out the bath tub – just the bath toys – but those get so gross, has anyone ever squeezed those plastic little duckies that should squirt water out only to find out that flakes of black mildew come shooting out?  GROSS!     

So that’s that the show folks and this TV show is for mature viewing audiences only.