Future simple mom

I was thinking long and hard about this snacking dilemma…from yesterday’s post

less snacks (I know what your thinking- Jill, just shut up about this already) and I know what my Mom is thinking (ok Jill, give them less treats and give us all a break and don’t talk about it anymore!) Hell, even I’m thinking it but I have to write this post.

I remember this story about a boy caught with cigarettes.  His dad wanted to teach him a lesson so he made him smoke like five packs or something crazy like that.  Wheels rolling…

“Come here Gia…you have a lot of sugar to eat…”

crazysugargia
Ughhhh…

KIDDING!!!

I couldn’t really do that! Solution #2

We’ll analyze Arianna and see what happens to her (kind of like a this is your brain on crack scare tactic, remember those commercials?)

inspectgia
Let’s see what happens…

You should have seen the little one after 100 lollypops, she was like a pinball on fire.  She ran around the house for two hours straight…in fact, she’s still running…

Again, KIDDING- Don’t call child services on me…yet.

What I did come up with was all of these reward plans, one where I had ten paper pieces of a donut and I was going to staple together every time Gia ate a meal. Then I had this jar, where I would put in a gem in when she followed directions. I also had one for brushing teeth…I am feeling stressed just writing this, in fact, today, I completely forgot which jar was for what and what the plan was..

Aghhh!!! I am such a try everything mess.  It took me so long to pack for today’s outing, with these jars and staplers, and I ended up forgetting what everything meant!

Later in the day, Gia was like, “Now where does this go,” about something that she did right.  I looked at her, bewildered…no idea.

Something just hit me then and I started laughing…this is ridiculous. The hoops sometimes we jump through for basic life stuff. We’re not talking about getting kids into Harvard here, just eat a sandwich and not get a donut every time we’re out!

STOP THE MADNESS

There has to be a better way!

Remember back in the day when NO was enough!

Remember when kids ate three meals a day, a snack or two, and getting an ice-cream cone on a hot day was just a simple pleasure of life.

Remember when a kid just brushed teeth with a no frills brush.  Now they light up, buzz, are personalized, have stickers to decorate, and even talk to you.  So do some potty’s by the way, just went on a potty run and am amazed at these flushing, talking potties…” “Hurray, you went potty.”

Hurray!!! I quit.

Why am I and millions of other Moms making parenting a project?

I have this image in my head of me standing on a long line of weary moms, waiting to hand in a thick portfolio to the boss (a mix of an imaginary Mother Theresa and Martha Stewart ). This boss person looks through the arts and crafts scrapbook of wonder, the eating section(organic, made from scratch, well thought out meals, creative and cute), stimulating activities, the organized day, the spotless house, the proper discipline, the “right” activities, Mom’s knowledge of the latest brain building exercise, etc).

Mom waits with bated breath, Do I pass? Do I win? Do I move on to the next level?

SHE DOES- she wins! She gets a trophy, she looks around to show her kids- they are gone.

They ran off.  They’re playing at the neighbor’s house.

They are laughing, smiling, and playing with some kids and their relaxed, just happy to be a mom, getting on the floor and being silly, no frills mom.

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