The real truth and does anyone know how to stop being a people pleaser?

On May 6, 2014May 6, 2014 By JillIn Mommy Confessions, Mommy Musings, Uncategorized, What's Going On?4 Comments

I would like to tell you the real truth about why I stopped the thirty day happy challenge. Yesterday, I wrote that it was because I already knew that I was joyful. This is still true and I stand by this. Who wouldn’t feel their heart soar with these two…

This was today in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, trying on the hats! We have fun wherever we go!

I wish that being not being happy and positive was MY ACTUAL PROBLEM. It’s pretty damn easy to take pics of the girls, in various settings, and write captions like “yay” and “cute” because they are. Not to mention that it’s so Facebookish! Or rather fakebook, I mean, let’s be honest, we all pick out our best “kodak moments” (wink wink to Mags for this one) and post them up.

case and point – my current profile picture- Don’t we look so happy and such a cute family!

So, I am happy but something is weighing on me like the big feet of an elephant! I have people in my head, constantly, I see their faces and can almost feel their thoughts! I suppose I am the chosen one…right? The girl who is responsible for everyone…

OR so I thought! I have read this and heard this so many times – the fact that most people are not thinking about you.

However, I still have been living, geesh, for as long as I can remember like this…
It sort of sucks!

I wake up, and usually start panicking about my to do list…I always seem to have so much to do… And their is a constant whirl of thoughts going through my brain… Lately it has been about this damn blog, which IS THE MAIN REASON I want to quit it… I just don’t know what to write about, who I should be?

Should I be happy and cheery and make my family happy? I know they feel better when I am cheery, lighthearted, and fun… Should I be tired, drinking, and spent – that is sure to make the sad moms feel better about themselves … Should I be crafty, baking, adventurous? That’s sure to get more web traffic!

And then there’s the baking/ gift giving / social event problem that I have…
Always feel the need to bake, to create perfect gifts, like for teachers, friends, etc…, and worry at social events and parties – am I eating enough of their food? drinking enough? (Well maybe not that one!) Did I bring the right gift… It’s downright exhausting!

You see my predicament! Might as well just eat worms….but I can’t because they’re gross. And I don’t think I’m going to start a new 30 day challenge of how to stop people pleasing and start people annoying, although my husband would love that!

He is the opposite of me and is always encouraging me to disappoint people, say no, and not to give a flying fuck…he’s not a bad guy…I see you all getting this image of a monster… Sending me referrals for a divorce lawyer!

He’s just trying to get me to see things differently… So that’s that – just felt like telling the truth… I have a few people to talk to tomorrow about a few situations…. Going to get to bottom of what people really think about baking, gifts, and perfection! Let’s see what information we come up with…

Feel free to comment now folks! Those of you who read this on Facebook, put in your email and comment… It could help other people pleaser problem people who are reading this!

This is getting boring – day seven of thirty day challenge

On May 5, 2014May 5, 2014 By JillIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Hi all! I am feeling so happy, saw the best people this weekend! Had so much fun with my family, and “for the first time in forever…”
JUST KIDDING! Just saw it, for the thousandth time, couldn’t resist!

Like I was going to say! Laughed, like a real belly laugh- Tom was making fun of me, of the errands that I deem so important! like a return or trip to Harmon’s … Or all of these “so called stressors” that I have….yea, being a SAHM has caused me to fret about the stupidest errands!

Which brings me to my next point. I quit this thirty day challenge because I realize that I am happy. It only took one week, to see it in print, to think about my daily life and how blessed we are with all of our friends and fun!

Every day is good, even the crappy days…

I always have someone I can call and moan to, I have the cutest girls in the world( granted everyone thinks that about their own kids) but come on… Look at these two….

And the weeks are just flying by…filled with activities and parties!

The girls with their microphones singing!

Sooo… No need to continue this challenge because things are good, on the kid and family front. They’re all taken care of.

So that leaves me… Not quite sure. I wouldn’t say I feel taken care of, or doing what is good for me… But it’s late and I don’t have any answers there, for now… So I’ll think about this….

So cliche isn’t it… Mommy takes care of everyone, and her friends, and neglects herself!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Day Six of thirty day challenge …sharing positive thoughts

On May 4, 2014 By JillIn I need a glass of wine, Mommy Musings, Thirty day challenge - Make it, Do it, Love it, What's Going On?1 Comment

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great week!

Thinking I am going to start lumping some days together! This is getting exhausting….sort of defeats the purpose of feeling positive and happy… This whole “gotta post, gotta write, ” I never said I was going to write everyday and here I am- doing it:) ugh!!! Jilly- take a break, read something for fun! Relax.

Those were words from my fairy godmother…but seriously, the point of this challenge was to find ways to reduce anxiety and find more joy.
So far, I am feeling happy and positive, reflecting on the day, and seeing all that we do, the strength I have as a mom- doing this all by myself, with NO HELP!!! I know I have the emotional support from my husband and family but seriously, I do this all day, alone, and here’s to the other mommas out there who are strong, energetic, interesting, and relentless in making their darlings happy…and are fearless mommies!

I know, off on a tangent there, but a few faces come to mind and this momma thing is not easy. It very well could be easy, if you simply do the bare minimum, but I have met the most amazing women in the past year who just inspire me to be a better Mom and to just keep saying “yes” to new experiences. These women are positive influences in my life and they don’t even know it!

Oh gee, I did not mean to get so off topic there but the more I think about my daily experiences, I think about all of the moms I see, who are… Powerhouses of energy in doing things for their children, and that in itself is joy.

OK, back to reality and Jill – so the thing is I am feeling happy and joyful – yay!!! But, still anxious…. Boo:(

This is me….

So…. This up and coming week need to figure out some anxiety relief….
This is my biggest struggle! People pleasing, worrier, perfectionist – damn! All the fun stuff – let ‘s see what we can come up with!!!

BACK TO TODAY…

Felt so great after a morning walk! I used to be a runner… Like a five miler almost every day. I haven’t run in soooo long, I can’t believe I’m the same person sometimes… Just the fact that I got up and forced myself to take a walk is amazing, and it felt awesome!

Then I called Tom and told him to meet me at the park with the kids and he brought me coffee- yay!

We went to such a fun birthday party!!! In fact, had so much fun, I forgot to take a picture, well, it was either that or the wine!!!
Snapped a quick shot of Arianna on the way home, covered in goodies- had to do this party solo since Tom had to go away…. Not used to being at party alone, without my partner… I have to be on full alert and I am definitely the driver…boo:( BUT, I am home now and making up for it! Thank you T for replenishing the supplies!!!!