Empowerment

On January 6, 2014January 7, 2014 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I just let out a deep breath, I feel lighter, and I feel myself straightening up. I did it, I figured something out, although extremely simple, something which these techies and bloggers would scoff at, at least I figured it out.

I changed my url address. I have been blogging now for two weeks and every time I logged onto this account I saw the url address that I DID NOT WANT. Because of my embarassingly bad habit of relying on my husband for many things, namely computer stuff, business type of things, and home improvements, I ended up with something I did not like.

In fact, if I dig deep into the memories, I’m pretty sure past situations where I relied on others left me unhappy with a result or perhaps just unhappy.

But I lived with it until today. Today is the day I decide to overcome helplessness because I certainly do not want to continue down this damsel in distress charade and I absolutely do not want my girls to feel helpless, trapped, and not empowered!

“Screeech…scrape…per klunk!” Ok well my two year old just dragged the kitchen chair over to the counter so she could climb up and grab some cookies that she just spied. Hmmm, I guess I can’t be too mad because 1) Those are my home made oatmeal frosty cookies and they do happen to be amazing and 2) She just figured out how to get these delicious treats all by herself.

Yes! I silently think to myself, you go little one! As I half heartedly remind her, “No cookies before dinner.”

Oh what the heck- have a cookie- really, there are worse things!

Struggling

On January 4, 2014January 4, 2014 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I have tried – every morning for the past three mornings to be positive, full of life, and calm all the while enjoying all of these moments playing with the girls and trying to not go absolutely insane! This is so mind numbing for me at times… How do some Moms go from activity after activity and love this!!Are they boring dullards that don’t think very much? I’ve often wished that I could be one of those women that just wake up, do what they have to do, read a magazine, put up their feet and call it a day….wouldn’t that be amazing- to not think – to not wish for more?

But I NEVER stop thinking and My mind constantly churns and spins… What are we going to do?! How am I going to get through this day? What is a thrilling activity for toddlers? Ahhhh,,, I need to get out! I need to make a plan! I need a girls night! I need to go shopping ! I need to get out of these yoga pants!

I try to do something, anything, write out a bill, check something on the internet, anything that doesn’t involve the girls and they immediately come running ! Grabbing my phone, grabbing the pen …I can’t even go to the bathroom without “mooooomy’ Mommy, ” even now as I am trying to write this I am standing with the iPad up high trying to write this… Is it really that important that I write this – not really- but at least it’s a break albeit not the most relaxing one as my girls are,now throwing plastic fruits at me..

Help! I love them … This is temporary , right?

Putting blinders on

On January 3, 2014January 3, 2014 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

When I woke up this morning I has a sense of dread….I had to get the girls up and get older to preschool. Since we had been off for what has seemed like weeks we were all off schedule and the girls had been sleeping late..I thought about just keeping her home and staying in my lazy, avoid the world cocoon, but I didn’t . I rallied and with lots of “hurry up, stop dilly dallying” we got out the door. I went to the grocery store where little stuffed her face with munchkins while I quickly navigating the aisles only putting in “meal type of foods” ..
Trying to stick to meals and limit the snacks. The snacks being my shameful go to idea of what to do when we’re bored… Oh let’s have a snack! Shame on me …. These girls need attention from their, ahem… Role model… Wow! It’s really sinking in now that the older is 4… She looks at me, wants to be me, needs me, copies me, and I am her world.

HER WORLD!!!!! Ladies! This is a huge deal. And especially Moms of daughters… Body image, assertiveness, strength, confidence… You know – everything the books write about and we see destroyed as girls become adolescents… A lot of this rests in our hands!

Oh I just got on a tangent there… After the grocery store we went to Kohls and we got what we needed and I had a little time to kill so little and I were looking at picture books and I,just decided to put her down on the floor and read her books. Just put the blinders on and ignored anyone who would think this a bit odd , and had a nice little break.

I am going to do more things and not worry what the world thinks…. Starting the adventure of more living, less worrying.