The boss

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Yup, it’s true. 37 years old, and Mom still is the boss, well sort of, she doesn’t technically give me a paycheck but she does meet with me quarterly and give me performance reviews…”Yes, Jill, this quarter you need improvement in the housecleaning department- have you seen those cobwebs?”

JUST KIDDING- Don’t send the hate mail to her just yet!

We were talking on the phone this morning and I was mentioning to her that it does seem like we eat an awful lot of junk here, I make it seem like my children’s daily food pyramid is split between blueberry muffin, glazed donut, and chocolate frosted munchkins…mmm that does sound good doesn’t it… as I sit here and eat a greek yogurt…

Perhaps, I paint a picture of me and the girls sitting at the familiar orange and brown chairs almost every day.  Gee, now that I think about it Arianna has recently been asking for everything orange lately.  I thought she was just drawn to the cheery color but I think it’s Dunkin Donuts on her brain!  It may appear that we are at the donut store all of the time!  She agreed- Oh no! That’s all I needed to have me running to the computer to change the picture and the title! Grandma rules!

Upon reflecting on this I did sort of get a little carried away with the donut stories. It’s not like my goal is to create sugar crazed, attention deficit children who are fueled by grease and sprinkles…mmm, sprinkles- they have this new donut called birthday cake and it looked so….SNAP OUT OF IT! Focus – clearly I’m the one with the attention problem.

The thing is going to the donut store is actually a break for me…I get a coffee (another problem I need to work on).

And the kids have someplace warm to go, they are happy, I don’t have a mess to clean up, and they are contained to the confines of the store.  Gia bought her first item there, she gave the man two dollars, and the clerk put the change she was owed in the big tip cup.  Can you believe that? Taking advantage of children right in front of me…

You see, we have even learned about life at the donut shop.  That morning was educational in two ways, counting and making sure you get what you deserve!

But I do think it’s time to give it a rest. Surely, I can come up with other outings for us…

Riiing, Riiing. “Hi Grandma- were heeeere!” Ahh, my Mom’s house where a kid can be a kid- oh wait – that’s Chuck E. Cheese

It’s more like Grandma’s house- where a mommy can stop being a mommy and get a hug and be 13 again. And maybe raid the fridge, steal some leftovers, and wham- dinner is served!

Card catalog anyone?

It has come down to this very sad fact that I am a technology prisoner in my own home.  My husband bought me an IPad this past Christmas.  Upon opening up this gift Christmas Eve, I was ecstatic and pleased, pysched to surf the net, with a yearning to read or watch something other than My Little Pony and Bubble Guppies.  I felt a flutter of hope – hope that I might actually get maybe ten minutes during the day to mentally check out of kidsville and feel like a real person.

But alas, my little one did not agree with that idea. Take for example today.  We had such a fun play date with friends.  My mommy friend even baked me something- me – SOMEONE FINALLY MADE SOMETHING FOR ME! After a year of baking cookies, muffins, and cupcakes for everyone else, a friend made me something. It was such a nice surprise and I felt touched.

For those of you out there who want to do something nice for someone out of the blue, just take the time to make or bake something, it really feels great to the recipient. To my friends who are reading this- this has absolutely nothing to do with you, although a batch of cookies once in a while is really not that big of a deal, but um, really, don’t take offense. But, seriously, it’s really not that hard to follow a recipe and make something. I mean, how lazy can you be?

Sorry, off on a tangent there…like I was saying, the morning went well, the kids played, snacked, ate lunch.  After the friends left, we played with toys on the floor, we danced, and we read books.

The minutes were dragging, I was totally clock watching.  It’s Friday, the Happy Mommy Lets Play doll batteries were running low and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch, and download a ridiculously cheesy chick lit novel. Heck, I didn’t even want to read it, I just wanted five minutes to purchase it.

But, no, I can’t. Not even for a moment can I sit and do something on an electronic device. We have a kindle, an iPhone, and a computer, actually two computers but no matter which mesmerizing device I use the little one comes over and tries to use it.  No substitution will do, and if I try to put all electronics away, a major tantrum erupts …

Lately tantrums have resulted in the disappearance of little Arianna… behind the couch, behind curtains, in closets and her latest favorite- the dryer. Yes, the dryer, she gets in, closes the door and hides. Scary, isn’t it.

I actually prefer this to the all out, toddler on the floor, red faced and screaming her heart out scene we are all familiar with.  At least the disappearing act is quiet.

Standing in the middle of my living room, feeling trapped, frustrated and desperate for a mental break, an earth shattering idea came to me….the library…ahhh yes, remember that place we used to go to take out books and do research before the internet and eBooks. 

Suddenly the idea of the library seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel, so promising, so full of freedom.  

“Come on kids, get on your coats and shoes, we’re going to the library!” I enthusiastically said. 

“What? The library, but why?” asked Gia.

“To find some fun topics to learn about, what would you like to find out about Gia?” I asked.

“Unicorns and kittens!” Gia shouted.

She was so excited, I was so excited, and Arianna just gets excited at anything, except going to bed of course. It was going to be a great rest of the afternoon…

We approached the extremely bored looking librarian at the children’s desk and asked her if she could help us find books about kittens and unicorns.  That woman perked up like someone offered her free tickets to a Caribbean vacation.  Well, maybe not that excited but she was positively thrilled to find us some books. She hopped right up and got all of these books for us.

I’m thinking she doesn’t see our kind too often- you know, those that actually go to the library to learn- from actual books.  She brought back the stack of books and to be perfectly honest, my girls completely lost interest in the books once they spotted the computers.  They happily skipped over to the computers, clamored happily up on the chairs, and then stared with frowns, confused and perplexed- these computers had mice. Remember those?

They were frantically trying to touch the screen and play the games displayed and were quite disappointed when nothing was happening. 

“What is wrong with this computer MOM!” “This stinks.”

I guess the library isn’t that exciting after all.

But, I did end up getting a few books for myself, good old fashioned, library scented, with well-worn paper pages.  I checked them out, hugging them to myself, dreaming of a bubble bath,  my Mommy’s Sippy Cup filled to the brim (twice)  with a full bodied red, comfy pajamas, clean, fresh smelling sheets, all tucked in reading a book…sounds amazing doesn’t it?

I did mention that this was a dream, right?