Cool as a Cucumber on a Manic Monday

I. will. remain. calm.

Even though she is jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean.

Even though she screamed and carried on during Gia’s dance class, where she wanted “in, in, in.”

Even though she tried to bash Gia’s head with the broom quite a few times.

I will be calm, cool, and collected.

Yup, going to try this, not going to raise my voice today, will get a boot camp booty (Lord knows I need it) workout running up and down the stairs to put G in timeout when she is sassy, rather than yell. I’ve been raising my voice quite a few octaves in the past couple of weeks, and waking up with a sore throat and a sorry heart. Plus, it’s not working…I know this. I was a teacher. But, still, sometimes, I just can’t help it.

Ok, it’s noon and kids are eating each other like a scene from National Geographic- let’s get creative before one child gets eaten! Keep calm and carry on (why is it I feel they created this saying for me and it’s also EVERYWHERE NOW!)

First we devise a scene that is slightly disconcerting if you think about it, kind of like the way I feel about that nursery rhyme about the blackbirds. Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye, Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie

It gives me goosebumps thinking about these birds in the pie!

I can’t explain how excited they were to do this…running to get bowls and their furry friends to cook them up. Strange, I know, but it occupied them.

Then I rummaged through the closet of crappola and found the second box of Christmas cards from last year that were sent by mistake from Shutterfly.

What can we do with these? Spend an hour cutting out the pictures and make a scary, OCD looking sort of collage, like the apartment wall at Carrie Mathison’s from Homeland.