let’s get real

THEMES ARE OVER!!! I’m exhausted, spending too much money, time, with baking and crafts!

I don’t know how moms do it but no more ! This ain’t my thing.

People say I’m creative- but this isn’t for me!


Stressed and tired!

I know what ya’ all are thinking – “But they’re so cute!”


I mean, even I want to backslide on my no more baking/cute themes but
I am seriously done!

I have gotten more site traffic from crafts but OH WELL.

I know for those of you not in the blogging world, you’re like who the hell cares.

Yes, I am a good baker and yes, I am creative BUT at what cost?

The girls want more mommy. They want me to cuddle, read, play…and they probably won’t miss the creative treats and crafts – maybe my readers will – maybe the girls will – but I don’t care anymore!

I finally have the courage to say – this sucks!

I just want to enjoy the rest of this summer! Hell, I want to enjoy the rest of my life home with the girls who won’t be little for long! And I probably won’t be home forever so…..good bye Susie homemaker!

Being this blogger, baker, crafter, and especially this summer, has made me feel like I have four jobs.

Taking care of the kids, being a pre school teacher, running a bakery, and a cleaning woman ( yes, I know that is already part of my job but all of the glitter, spilled beads and gems, glue, flour, frosting, batter, crumbs, etc….has multiplied my every day chores times ten!)

I quit. Good bye themes.

BUT Let me show you the pics from fancy week, they’re quite fancy.

Fancy cookies

Decorating everything…

And this….

Don’t even ask!!!!

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The real truth and does anyone know how to stop being a people pleaser?

I would like to tell you the real truth about why I stopped the thirty day happy challenge. Yesterday, I wrote that it was because I already knew that I was joyful. This is still true and I stand by this. Who wouldn’t feel their heart soar with these two…

This was today in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, trying on the hats! We have fun wherever we go!

I wish that being not being happy and positive was MY ACTUAL PROBLEM. It’s pretty damn easy to take pics of the girls, in various settings, and write captions like “yay” and “cute” because they are. Not to mention that it’s so Facebookish! Or rather fakebook, I mean, let’s be honest, we all pick out our best “kodak moments” (wink wink to Mags for this one) and post them up.

case and point – my current profile picture- Don’t we look so happy and such a cute family!

So, I am happy but something is weighing on me like the big feet of an elephant! I have people in my head, constantly, I see their faces and can almost feel their thoughts! I suppose I am the chosen one…right? The girl who is responsible for everyone…

OR so I thought! I have read this and heard this so many times – the fact that most people are not thinking about you.

However, I still have been living, geesh, for as long as I can remember like this…
It sort of sucks!


I wake up, and usually start panicking about my to do list…I always seem to have so much to do… And their is a constant whirl of thoughts going through my brain… Lately it has been about this damn blog, which IS THE MAIN REASON I want to quit it… I just don’t know what to write about, who I should be?

Should I be happy and cheery and make my family happy? I know they feel better when I am cheery, lighthearted, and fun… Should I be tired, drinking, and spent – that is sure to make the sad moms feel better about themselves … Should I be crafty, baking, adventurous? That’s sure to get more web traffic!

And then there’s the baking/ gift giving / social event problem that I have…
Always feel the need to bake, to create perfect gifts, like for teachers, friends, etc…, and worry at social events and parties – am I eating enough of their food? drinking enough? (Well maybe not that one!) Did I bring the right gift… It’s downright exhausting!


You see my predicament! Might as well just eat worms….but I can’t because they’re gross. And I don’t think I’m going to start a new 30 day challenge of how to stop people pleasing and start people annoying, although my husband would love that!

He is the opposite of me and is always encouraging me to disappoint people, say no, and not to give a flying fuck…he’s not a bad guy…I see you all getting this image of a monster… Sending me referrals for a divorce lawyer!


He’s just trying to get me to see things differently… So that’s that – just felt like telling the truth… I have a few people to talk to tomorrow about a few situations…. Going to get to bottom of what people really think about baking, gifts, and perfection! Let’s see what information we come up with…

Feel free to comment now folks! Those of you who read this on Facebook, put in your email and comment… It could help other people pleaser problem people who are reading this!

Just a few wrinkles

This morning I woke up startled- I felt someone’s presence-I felt something on me, next to me…

I opened my eyes and aghhh, there was a pair of enormous eyes in my face.  

I woke up to an inquisitive little girl, holding a magnifying glass over my face and peering intently.

“What are you doing Gia!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, I’m just checking for red marks on your face,” she nonchalantly said.

“What! why?” I was laughing now.

“Oh because if you have red dots on your face, you need to buy this P stuff ( Proactiv), I was watching this on TV and I was seeing if you looked liked this lady with all of these red things on her face,” she stated.

 “Hmmmm, let me see, Mom, can you turn your face a little?” she asked.

“Ok, sure Gia, let me know what you see,” I said.

 “Oh Mom, no dots, but I do see some lines.”

Well, there you have it- the update on Mom’s skin, just a few wrinkles.

Then I am coming out of the shower and A makes a beeline for my boobs- grabbing at them, saying, “Boobies, boobies, Mommy’s boobies,” and then starts saying, “What’s that Mommy?, Mommy’s but, Mommy’s but, and starts pointing out various freckles, What’s that Mommy? What’s that Mommy? (A tends to repeat everything she says at least three times… “Are you sad mommy, are you sad mommy, are you sad mommy?”

Before you start thinking, oh my – What is going over there, Is this mom ok? We have this series of little books called What are you feeling? It’s pretty cute actually because G likes to read A these books.

Four year old reading genius I tell ya! Nah, she just looks at the pictures and makes up the words- kind of a no brainer, really. Look at this page, it really says, I feel hungry and G reads it, “I feel like I see a floating piece of cheese in my head.” Image

But A has been really taken with the I feel sad book.


In fact, she asks everybody, including random people at the grocery store, “Are you sad?” I think she and I are going to set up a booth in the mall…

No insurance, low income, not a problem! Discounted therapy here…My child will look deep into people’s eyes and ask “Are you sad?”

We’ll let people get the weight off their shoulder and tells us their woes…   

The truth is I think she’s just so excited to be talking these days that she likes to hear herself say words and phrases multiple times.

Later that day, I heard my own voice coming from underneath a blanket on the couch, accompanied with lots of giggling.

What on Earth? Oh right, she’s been recording me again! I don’t know what G finds interesting about watching me do nothing, the videos of me are pretty mundane- it’s just shots of me with my face looking very worried- I always seem to have this forehead wrinkled, tense look going on- in fact, I can’t tell you the number of staff members at various stores like the grocery store, CVS, and Target…coming up to me and saying, “Everything OK, Can I help you find something?” or “You look lost, can I help you?” and probably the most embarrassing of all is “Well, if you and your kids aren’t pure birth control for me than I don’t what is!” 

Nonetheless, G will watch recordings of me for hours, cracking up, and then hit play again, laughing even louder –  this is getting ridiculous! Between this morning’s face inspection, naked accosting right out of the shower, and being recorded all day, I feel like I am just one life size doll for these girls to play with.     

Damn, why can’t I be the Hulk, and scare them away!