Find ladies that make you laugh, feel alive…

On August 27, 2014August 27, 2014 By JillIn Mommy Musings, Uncategorized3 Comments

“Let me ask you a question,” I asked my friend, a mom of three…I was lakeside with a friend, absolutely enjoying her company while our husbands and kids played in the water.

The question was completely irrelevant to this post (it was about advice if I should join the gym because the childcare center at the gym seemed so small and crowded). She was like, “Jill, do you remember the size of rooms from when your were three or four?”

She made a great point and I did end up joining a gym…and it’s been great…actually pretty fabulous, and what a break for mommy! I can stroll on the treadmill, since I’m not exactly in top form these days, and when I pick the girls up, they are so happy. Luckily, they have each other so I don’t feel completely worried…I don’t even care if I get in great shape, it’s just such a nice “me time” for 45 minutes or so…I might not have joined if it wasn’t for a few wise friends.

So my point is thank you to my friend and all of my other girl friends who encouraged me to take this step… And thank you to my girlfriends who just make me feel supported, normal, and just like them.

Women, mommies, and wives- we need to be with each other, ( I think that came out wrong – not sexually of course) share thoughts and ideas with one another and mostly, be real and honest, so we don’t feel alone.

AVOID THE ANCHORS

Anchors are women that are more of a sinker, rather than a floater. You leave a play date or event and feel worse, depleted, kind of an underwater feeling. Spend time with women who make you feel you are ok, relaxed and floating (nothing wrong with a glass or wine or two to float along with as well).

Then there are women who just don’t do it for ya. You’re not laughing, you’re not sharing feelings without being judged, you’re feeling less than, or you feel like getting together is more of an obligation.

Avoid these ladies like the plague ( I’m sure we can all think of someone like this or slightly like this in their heads- hell, maybe, I’m one of these women, in that case – avoid me! I promise I won’t be offended.)

Nothing worse than hanging with a woman who stares at you blankly, has nothing to say to support you but makes you feel more alone, less than, inadequate, or the worst feeling of all -BORED… Bored with their incessant drone of what they have, what their kids have, how they want to do something but don’t do it … Or maybe they just are boring!

Run from them. Find ladies that make you laugh, feel alive, are bouncing boards for ideas, and basically make you feel completely normal.

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Eating Nonsense

On July 10, 2014July 10, 2014 By JillIn Mommy Musings, What's Going On?4 Comments

Dealing with the dervish…

“Vroom…vroom…there she goes, like a whirling dervish…” my husband used to say to me when I would get caught in an obsessive spinning cycle…

It’s not like I literally spun around the house like a spider on crack but I just tend to get obsessive about things (yes, broken record here…Jill is obsessive) don’t worry this isn’t going to be one of those annoying posts where I am not writing anymore or not baking anymore…I promised a month ago I wouldn’t post about writing or not writing and I stuck to it.

I wrote about not baking anymore and I am not sticking to that! Of course I will bake again. I don’t care. I am done, done, done with any more posts, thoughts, ideas about quitting anything…here I am on vacation, away from every day life, and just realizing how stupid and nonsensical those thoughts were…there is so much going on in the world, and since we are away I have had more time to watch the news in the morning and see what’s really important, to laugh with my family, and to have fun…

Taking a break from the pool!

We are so cute!

Seeing these girls having so much fun at the boardwalk was heart warming…and the night was complete with pizza, hot dogs, cotton candy, and fried Reese’s peanut butter cup, fried cookie dough, and a fried Twix.
We are having the best time. I have fallen in love with my friend’s family. They are so funny, caring, and loving, it has been the best time…my only regret, not bringing them my cookies which they love. Live and learn.

Being away from everything, and relaxing at the beach has given me time to reflect…this past year I have enjoyed starting this blog but sometimes I write about stuff that is simply “time wasting,” as my Mom would say…spending time thinking about food and what we’re going to eat or not eat… Writing about my worries…Perhaps a minuscule part of life, but post worthy- not so much…Do I want to pig out every day and become a big fat cow, um no…Does anyone? But enough with the quitting sugar, low carb, no more baking crappola. Please bop me on the head if I ever mention this again and stick a newspaper in front of my face…there’s so much more to life…not to mention the fudge that I plan on buying on the boardwalk before we leave.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE TOP MOMMY BLOG BANNER RIGHT AFTER THIS POST, I just added my blog to this top mommy blog site…just kind of trying it out and you get ranked by how many clicks you get a day… So click away- every time you read or if you love me, every day:) sorry to be annoying, just trying something new.

All or nothing parenting

On April 4, 2014 By JillIn Uncategorized4 Comments

So I haven’t blogged in a while. I was thinking of stopping all together. I’ve been struggling with the girl’s behavior, struggling with getting Arianna to sleep. It has been a nightmare- I don’t know what is going on with her lately. I lay with her for an hour, we read stories, tell stories, and when it’s time for bed, she screams and has the most horrific tantrums.

She wants the light on now, the big light, not the nightlight. Last night, she was angry that I switched the big light off. I went downstairs, closed the door and tried to ignore the screaming and kicking on the door. Then I heard a crash. She threw the nightlight and the glass bulb shattered all about. The tantrums have been getting worse and worse lately and my oldest is getting sassier and more and more defiant.

I am home alone for most of the day, have a husband who works late, and lately this blog is one more headache. So I was just going to stop. I don’t have much too write about, how many times do my readers want to hear about the girls’ temper tantrums and trips to Target.

Yesterday, I was almost out the door at CVS without a bruise, and then Ari spotted these rubber ducks that she wanted at the counter…

The store checkout is the most stressful place for me, it’s all smiles and fun, walking through the store… and then we arrive at the counter…I hold my breath, feel my shoulders tense up. ‘Can we just pay? Can we just pay? Hurry up slow salesclerk!’ I think to myself.

Too late – the shiny wrappers of every kind of treat imaginable beckon my girls to touch and beg for treats…yesterday it was ducks- after calmly trying to rationalize with Ari to put the ducks back, we had a meltdown on the floor, and I had to pick up a thrashing Arianna, my bags, and get out of there, and then for some reason, Gia refused to walk out the door of CVS.

No idea why and I still don’t know. I left her there. This random lady walked her to my car (How embarrassing!) Also super fun trying to get them back in the car and buckled. I had to use my entire body to force crazy Ari into her car seat and try to buckle her.

I finally got them in, breathed a sigh of relief, and realized a man was patiently watching and waiting for me so he could get into his car. He’s like, “it’s ok, I have three boys at home,” but that didn’t make it any better.

The girls are a handful and a half, so I concluded that I simply have no time to write and I’ll just keep my life to myself. But, in the past week, a few people said to me, I miss the posts, and I liked reading because I don’t feel so alone, and today, my friend brought me a cantaloupe for our playdate! She read the post about me trying to get better about the sweets- that meant so much to me.

I kept wondering, what is the real reason I want to stop? Perhaps I had been writing too much, thinking too much about this blog, reading other mom blogs and not giving my girls the attention that they need. That, and the fact that I am burned out and drop dead exhausted after battling to get them to bed.

I know in my heart that the bed thing is just another stage and “this too shall pass.” So what was the problem? I was just being Jill- typical Jill, all or nothing Jill, I’ve always been this way, as long as I can remember, if I didn’t get 100 on a test, I was pissed. If I couldn’t figure out a math problem, I remember stressing for hours in my bedroom instead of just closing the book and asking the teacher the next day. Those are like the smallest examples of my all or nothing-ness. I could write a novel about my crazy head.

I am obsessive and I was going to do it again with parenting. I was going to shut down the blog and give the girls all my attention, and be “better” and only focus on them. As much as that sounds like a good mom thing to do, I realized today that a mom needs more than just their children. A friend came over this morning, my house was a disaster, I hadn’t brushed my teeth, Arianna just peed on the potty so she was naked, I had no make-up on, and hadn’t even brushed my hair (did take a shower though!) I had nothing baked and the bathroom was probably dirty….my friend and her girls came in. The girls played, and I talked and talked to an adult. It was great. It made me realize that being “a better mom” and only focusing on the kids is not a good solution. That was just all or nothing parenting.

That’s it for now, I have much more to write on this all or nothing disease later and the amazing power of friends.