Five Thoughts about Mommy and Winter Days

On February 16, 2014February 16, 2014 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

1 We are saving money by not buying clothes.

My youngest daughter wants to wear jammies all day, every day. My oldest daughter likes to wear the same dress every day and since no ones sees us, it’s a win win! At least that’s what I tell myself when we stop at Dunkin Donuts, Panera, Target, and other places on the days we can leave the house! On that note, when I am able to get out of this prison, it does feel like a free for all- it’s like if you’ve been on a strict diet for months, avoiding carbs, sweets, and fried goodies, and then you have your first taste of french fries or a gooey, fudgy brownie with a decadent chocolate frosting – and all hell breaks lose…you started with just one bite and then suddenly the speed at which your forking food into your mouth starts rapidly increasing and you are shoving cookies and chips into your mouth at this point and basically in heaven, all the deprivation that you instilled on yourself melting away…

Oh, got a little carried away there with that description…it’s just I’ve been there done that with the diet/cutting out thing; granted, my quitting of foods whether it be sweets, bagels, snacks, or wine never lasts more than a week, or shamefully, less than a week, but still-when you feel trapped in any way, be it your house, your food restrictions, your ability to use your car (I HOPE THIS PROBLEM IS RESOLVED BY NEXT WEEK !) You can go hog wild when you’re free, but maybe that’s just me.

2 My kids now have no toys

It’s a bad habit I have, purging, cleaning, and throwing away toys, clothes, arts and crafts, you name it- I throw it out when feeling trapped and a slight loss of control.

My friend was here visiting the other day and said to me, “Where are all of the toys? It looks like you just moved in!”

Pitfalls to this habit…

“Mom, why is my pumkin project in the garbage can?”

“Mom- Mom, look what I found in the garbage- another princess toy! This is so cool-

someone is starting to leave us presents in the garbage can!

– “Playdate at Jill’s house …But Mommy- their house is no fun- they don’t have any

toys!”

– You have to be really creative when home all day with your kids…Hmmm, let’s see, what do we have to play with?- Dried macaroni and bowls- perfect!- “Come on girls- were pretending we’re cooks!”

3 Way, way too much eating/drinking

The very first flake graces the ground and I have the flour, the mixing bowl out, the oven on and I’m checking my wine supplies! (Which are becoming alarmingly low)

4 I have adopted a work uniform.

Much like people in jail wear their orange jumpsuit, nurses wear their scrubs, and police officers working for the good of the city, wear their big badges and buttons, I too, wear my black yoga pants, a tank, and a purple, velour, zip up hoody, sometimes I even wear the same thing to bed.

(I know what your thinking, that woman’s poor husband!) Actually, I have been called out by Gia- “Mom, your still in your pajamas!”)

I feel like being trapped in the house lends itself to a uniform- I am like the jailbird (enclosed in these walls), I am a nurse, tending to these girls all day, and definitely a cop, breaking up toddler fights, ensuring the little ones safety, and putting them in jail (time out) when need be.

5 I feel like I’m on a reality TV show

The premise: Stay at home mom never leaves the house, watch her turn tricks and see her roller coaster of emotions throughout the day… She goes from happy, loving mommy to crazed, frustrated, and on the verge of exploding, to looking like a zombie, or kind of blank feeling (i.e. staring out the window for long periods of time) to a compulsive cleaning freak to a laid back and loving the mess, to a snuggler and a cuddler to a GET AWAY FROM ME NOW to a “Let’s have sandwiches cut up in cute ways!” to a frustrated momma flinging food on the table to a Super Mom to Soggy Mom. ok, well, I don’t think I have ever been in the “super” category but soggy for sure, especially after I give the girls their third bath for the day- Hey, it’s an activity and I haven’t thrown out the bath tub – just the bath toys – but those get so gross, has anyone ever squeezed those plastic little duckies that should squirt water out only to find out that flakes of black mildew come shooting out? GROSS!

So that’s that the show folks and this TV show is for mature viewing audiences only.

It’s Quitting Time

On January 30, 2014January 30, 2014 By JillIn Uncategorized3 Comments

Call the reporters and newspapers… breaking news…I have learned my first Mommy Lesson…

I don’t know how long I’m going to keep writing this blog but I have decided to start documenting my momma life lessons. I was thinking I would do a lesson a month but don’t hold me to it- that puts me in a box, with four sides, – everything I’m trying to escape from… wish I could escape from the house right about now – there has been so much crying in my ears today I would be happy to go sit in the car, alone, and drive around.

More about that later…well, maybe tomorrow. Oh forget it- let me just say it- today Arianna cried in the car, coming home from gymnastics class because she couldn’t reach her blanky, the entire trip home, not super long, but anyone who has heard my daughter’s extremely loud cry, would deem this ride an eternity. She cried when the furniture delivery people were here, when the mattress people were here…I thinks she’s a racist. They were all Spanish men! The crying continued for one reason or another today! Even Gia was crying and told me she was sad.

Just wanted to get that out there, because at this time, writing this, I have moved on. I am finishing the rest of my mommy juice…it’s only Wednesday. This week is killing me!

Yesterday was my self-created Too Kind Tuesdays and thank our lucky stars, we had a reason for kindness – my dear brother was going in for surgery on his shoulder this morning so we had something to do for our self-appointed day of kindness. I’m kidding about being happy about this. Surgery is no fun.

“Come on girls- Get out the cocoa powder and baking ingredients -we are making brownies, from scratch of course, and making a card,” was instructed for yesterday.”…it was fun, but in the midst of flour flying everywhere, egg shells in the batter, and Arianna trying to get in on the action, it was chaos, the usual mess that ensues with these sort of undertakings.

I love this little vixen so much but she does not make things easy for us. But, she tugs at my heart and is just so polite when she talks, and that coupled with her huge eyes, I simply cannot tell her no…last night when I was putting her to bed, she put her face right next to mine and said, “Mommy, can I please have milk in a sippy?”

Bless her little heart, she is so darn cute- little monster in the making…

After the mixing and pouring, Arianna and Gia fought over who got to lick the bowl, never mind the fact that the sugar would have spoiled their appetite for dinner – wait, what? Dinner, oh, right, probably something I should have thought about… but I didn’t have time for dinner. We needed to finish the card, bake the brownies, and deliver them to Jeff.

It was late and I was tired, but I did commit to doing this so I got the kids in their jammies, loaded them in the car, each clutching on to a lollipop for dear life- I figured it would keep them awake in case one decided to snooze off- isn’t that the worst thing ever, in mommy world, when your child falls asleep at the wrong time thus creating utter havoc in your well planned out day or routine…

I am primarily thinking of my other mom friends who run a tight ship and are sticklers for their routine…I can only dream of being there one day… which kind of brings me to my latest thought.

I am taking down Too Kind Tuesdays and all of the other ideas I have come up with. This is something I tried this month, along with starting this blog, and other various plans and ideas, and like many challenges I take on, they exhaust me…

We love doing kind things for others and the girls are thrilled to bake cookies and write cards, well Gia really. Giving is fun and feels amazingly heartwarming to both parties (at least I think so) but I have personally been feeling like I took on a pressing project or challenge, to keep this up every Tuesday, along with something cool for Wednesdays, or have something funny or enlightening to blog about every other day. Therefore, after thinking, planning, and blogging, I have come to this conclusion. I am finished with rules or unrealistic expectations and I have figured out my first MOMMY TRUTH.

Being a mom is NOT A PROJECT. It’s not a series of small goals and checklists. I want to just lie my head down at night and know that we got through another day with love, a connection, and a commitment to trying my best. I hate the expression “mommy guilt .” If you are feeling guilty, fix it.

This is something I chose because I wanted to be a Mom, I wanted to feel those babies in my arms, I wanted to see those first steps, to read picture books to them, to share drippy ice-cream cones with them, and to just be a Mom.

Fast-forward four years and I still am in love with them, and I want to be happy and relaxed so they can feel the same. I haven’t been feeling this way lately. I can count on my fingers a few reasons why and I will tackle those issues as I go but for now, today- I quit this project, tell the boss I’m done (I’m the boss so that shouldn’t be too hard), I am finished with deadlines, going to clean out my desk (the scraps of paper all over the house with notes like ‘start an inspirational quote book’ or ‘create tickets to recreate a Chucky Cheese prize counter’), yes, I actually was going to do this as well as have a Pink a licious day where we ate everything pink and painted our face pink! I still love this idea but right now, I have two energy sapping life forces in my house that I need to focus on.

So after I quit, and walk out feeling free, I am not looking for new work, I need to focus on the job I already have. Stay tuned for the fun, the funny, but not the regularly scheduled show.

Blueberry Crumb Muffins

On January 9, 2014 By JillIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

This one I will put under the page No Brainer. When you are bored, frustrated, or just in dire need of a little comfort.

I woke up so relaxed today for some reason- floating in a zen like state through the routine of getting out of bed, coming downstairs to get breakfast ready and cleaning up from last night- yup- that’s something new. I used to not be able to go to sleep unless the kitchen was spotless. That was until the past year, when life at home with a spunky three year old and a wild one year old left me spent up like a broken wheel. The little one has so much energy and zest for getting into creams, cleaners, and yes, even the occasional nail polish bottle (Even thinking about that incident makes me cry and remember my aching arms from four hours of blotting and rubbing, blotting and rubbling until the stain was a mere pink stain- ON MY NEW CREAM CARPET!)

I digress…the thing is the zen/relaxed thing is a bad thing for me. Its like a warm blanket that makes me loopy and not on my game. I am more organized and on point when I am anxious and jittery. It really is unfortunate that I can’t be both.

All of a sudden we had five minutes to leave for preschool, and I had no make up, didn’t brush my teeth, kids were a mess, etc… I’m sure you’ve all been there at one time or another( assuming anyone is reading this).

We got out the door. I was super frazzled. I didn’t bring diapers or anything useful with me. I stopped at Harmons- baby pooped- very smelly, she opened up nailpolishes (she’s really not a baby- she’s a toddler!) She had a meltdown when I said not to the random winter hat with ears on it that was completely heinous- it was just an off morning and I had wanted to get to the library to get some books but with the poop situation, I had to go home.

The only thing to do when things go awry and I feel a loss of control, is to lock the kids in their room and have a major tantrum.

Kidding. I bake. I do have a play date tomorrow so now I’ll have something fresh and home made to put out. Always a nice touch.